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Friday, October 20, 2006

Little people, give them power, and they think they own the WORLD...

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You know.... sometimes ... I wondered, of all my MSN contacts...this one has the most "expressive words" However... none of his messages has any meaning... poor guy, must have been sad being misunderstood all the time...

Kids... stay in school, for God's sake please stay in school...

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Hari ini gw akan berbicara tentang orang-orang sarap yg kedoyanan-nya nuntut, tapi gak ada keahlian alias skills sama sekali.


Yeah... we all envy the "fat ones" the one that sits all day doing nothing, but complained the most.

Kadang geli gw ngeliat org-org di kantor gw... kayak yg diatas ini... Baru aja masuk kantor gw, udah protes udaranya kepanasan, kalo nggak kedinginan. Gak lama kemudian dia protes karena kursi komputer di kantor gw terlalu tinggi, jadi kakinya gak nyampe ke lantai. (Sure... kalo perut loe kagak buncit kayak Jin Tomang, pasti itu kaki bisa nekuk sampe lantai...)

Intinya, orang orang kecil kalo dikasih power dikit langsung ngelunjak, minta ini minta itu... Padahal kerja aja males, skill kagak ada... makanya hidup paling susah kalo jadi keroco...

Baru aja gw "libur" 2 hari gara gara kena flu.... pagi ini di kantor gw ada satu gerobak barang sumbangan.

Satu Monitor jaman kuda, 2 Keyboard jaman batu, 2 Printer laser jaman nenek moyang, sama 2 speaker rusak....

Loe pikir kantor gw tempat nadahin barang rusak???? Ngapain sih sumbang sumbang tanpa tanya dolo sama yang mo disumbang? Gile aja.... orang kaya kalo dikasih muka suka belagu ===> gini hasilnya, barang barang junk dikasihin ke sekolahan.

Dan tau gak... barang ginian tuch gak layak untuk disumbangin, teknologi model kuda, mo disupport pake apa?

Tapi kan orang orang kaya mikirin-nya gini: Kalau mereka kasih sumbangan model gini, mereka bisa dapet tax-break dari government alias more duit masuk ke saku.

Gw gak habis pikir moral orang kaya, barang yang sama loe aja udah gak bisa dipake, ngapain dikasihin lagi sama orang. Dasar otaknya busuk.....

Pokoknya ironis sekali sama gaya gaya orang Indo yang ada disini, sama parahnya-- barang bekas yg udah gak layak pakai masih aja dikasihin orang...

-Baru aja punya server radio udah kayak kaisar lagu-nya, padahal dibayar juga kagak....
-Baru aja beli laptop baru udah dipajang-pajang di depan mata orang.... (nuff said)

Maksa...maksa...maksa...
Dasar orang kecil, dikasih power dikit aja udah belagu....

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

IPTEK buat lansia ....

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Gile .... kompie gw di kantor ... Windows O.S juga bisa bertahan ampir 13 hari tanpa shutdown ato restart..... Salut juga deh gw

Masih penasaran dengan kemampuan Windows Vista ===> apakah bisa menandingi OS.X ??
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Percakapan dibawah terjadi kira-kira 3 hari yg lalu.


Teknologi untuk lansia : KoQ malah jadi gantungan buat leher ???

Ada satu client (teacher) yang masuk ke kantor gw (udah kerja di tempat ini selama 20 tahunan), terus ada salah satu physical therapist (Guru Olahraga) yg lagi make kompie di kantor gw. Sebut aja guru ini si Bodoh, dan physical thereapis ini kita panggil si India...

Si Bodoh : "retarders, where are the shortcut to access IEP Welligent located on this computer ??" (Note that she was asking for the same thing to be done on her classroom computer also...)

retarders : "I have not yet put any shortcut for that, why don't you just use the Internet Explorer and type in your address to Welligent ??

Si Bodoh : "I don't know the address, I don't even remember the address... I have so many things in my mind, I can't remember these complicated address !!!"

India : "It's very easy (dengan nada logat India kentel) You just have to start Internet Explorer which is the big "E" icon, double click and put it on the address bar... "iep.lausd.net"

si Bodoh : "What's an address bar....? That address is too long anyway, how can someone possibly remember that??"

retarders : "Bodoh, you cannot possibly suggesting that I put shortcut internet icon in every desktop , so that you can just double click to access iep??

si Bodoh : "Yes if it makes my life easier"

retarders : "What easier? it is so simple, you can even just type "IEP" on the address bar and it will take you there...."

si Bodoh : "I'm not computer savvy, and it's easier to just double click...."


C'mon everybody should at least learn how easy it is just to open the Internet Explorer, and type the three (3) letters "IEP" on their freakishly large address bar and press the enter button...

Has technology gone sour for the elderly ???? Teknology koQ jadi gantungan leher buat lansia yach ? Apakah karena mereka segitu malesnya ???

India : "Yeah ... it is very simple indeed..." (Ngedengerin doi gw jadi inget lagu Linkin Park - In the End yang versi India.....)

Si Bodoh : "Arrgh ... now they are asking me for user name and password ... and I don't remember mine, can't you help me retarders?"

retarders : "Your passwords are yours and you should keep them memorized, I have no access and I cannot help you if you have a problem forgetting your password..."

Si Bodoh : "Do you know the number for Welligent tech support?"

retarders : "Yes, its xxx-xxx-xxxx .... they should be able to reset your password.."

Si Bodoh : "I'm gonna call them right now.... let me use your EXTENSION phone..." (Lalu doi segera ke ruangan sebelah mencet mencet nomor....)

Si Bodoh : "ARGGHHH!!! the number you gave me is wrong, it doesnt go through....!!!!!" (Sambil komat kamit doi keluar ruangan saking keselnya)

retarders : "Damn ... every people that worked here should know that these EXTENSION phones can only receive, or make calls to other EXTENSION, but not DIAL OUT..."

India + retarders : "Bwakakakkakakakakakak".... (ngakak gak kuat nahan ketawa...)

Sometimes is sad ...the way technology movin' these days ... the elderly are digging their own graveyards....

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The characteristics of an educated person....

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Hmm .... Something to ponder for some Americans out there...

~some things are better left unsaid~

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Kemaren baru aja gw masuk kelas final gw... Kelas yang disebut GEN 480 - adalah satu kelas dibilangan dunia bisnis yang dinamai Interdisciplinary Capstone Course. Gw tadinya berpikir, walaupun ini termasuk kelas akhir gw, kayaknya topiknya gak gitu menarik... palingan cuma homework essay berapa biji tentang karir loe, sebelum loe lulus, terus visi elo, sama perubahan elo selama ini menuntut ilmu post secondary education.

Post Secondary Education disini bisa dimaksud dengan pendidikan pasca SMU ato SMA kalo di Indo, ya bisa kursus, college ataupun universitas... intinya - pendidikan setelah highschool.

Gak tau kenapa gw pilih I.T sebagai major guwe, mungkin karena ketertarikan sama yang namanya alat alat yang bisa kerlap kerlip, ato alat alat efisien yang mempermudah hidup, hmmm ato sekedar keajaiban sebuah kotak yang disebut komputer - yang secara perlahan-lahan mengambil alih keseluruhan aspek hidup manusia, ngebokep perlu kompie, ngeblog perlu kompie, nyari jodoh perlu kompie, akses tabanas perlu kompie.... Apa sih yang gak bisa dilakukan ama yang namanya kompie ??


For some of us..... sleeping with your computer means "literally"

Oke... intinya pas gw masuk kelas, professor tanya seluruh penghuni kelas, termasuk gw.

"What is your definition of an educated person?"
"Do they expect you to perform certain ways, by the community?"
"Do they expect you to knows some tough words, like the word "protean" for example...."

Protean, btw artinya bukan protein, zat yang terdapat dalam makanan. Tapi seseorang yang bisa tampil dalam setiap suasana yang berbeda, kalau di indo .... istilahnya "membumi" seseorang yang terampil, bisa mengambil segala peranan di setiap kesempatan.

Terus si professor bilang, dia juga yang udah punya gelar pHd, kagak tau ama yang namanya "protean" tapi dia liat di kamus dan dia bisa "mengira-ngira" apa itu arti protean.

Jadi orang pinter / educated bukan dilihat dari kemampuan vocabulary atau kosa-katanya? Gak selalu orang pinter / educated harus "tau semua" atau maha-tau. Semakin seseorang banyak tahu, semakin sadar seseorang itu kalau dia semakin banyak tidak tahu nya. (Menurut Confucius sih begitu)


Entah babeh Confucius lagi nyimeng apa pas keluarin omongan-nya, yang pasti beliau gak banyak omong, tapi komennya selalu incisive - yang artinya "to the point"

Akhirnya sebelum kelas berakhir.... si prof bilang kalau tujuan dari kelas gen 480 itu adalah membina karakter kita dalam beberapa poin berikut:

Karakterisasi orang pinter/ educated:

  1. Kesadaran : hidup seseorang bisa meningkat dengan kesadaran untuk meningkatkan pengetahuan dari penyelidikan dan pengertian di bidang Filosofi, Sejarah, Sastra, Seni dan Iptek.

  2. Kesadaran diri sendiri (introspeksi) : Ketika seseorang sadar akan motivasi diri sendiri, keinginan, kekuatan, impulsi dan arah tujuan, seseorang akan menjadi sadar akan elemen yang diperlukan untuk meningkatkan kedewasaan dan kemajuan diri sendiri.

  3. Analisa : Kemampuan menganalisa dalam hal komunikasi, berpikir secara kritis (critical thinking), kepemimpinan, toleransi, penilaian akan membuat seseorang tidak mudah untuk dipengaruhi emosi dan pengaruh kekuasaan orang lain yang tidak benar. (Gak gampang dibodohin)

  4. Analisa diri sendiri : Kemampuan seseorang untuk menganalisa status dan kemampuan diri sendiri dan prinsip dalam hidup, akan membuat seseorang berpikir secara imparsial dan obyektif (Bukan subyektif)

  5. Hubungan Interkoneksi : kemampuan ini memberikan seseorang pendalaman dalam mengerti hubungan antar manusia dan kemampuan untuk berpikir dari berbagai pola sudut pandang.

  6. Peningkatan diri sendiri (Self Improvement) : Kemampuan dan kesadaran untuk selalu meningkatkan kemampuan, dan mempelajari hal-hal baru.

  7. Intelijen / Kepintaran (Intelligent) : Kemampuan dalam menyerap dan membedakan berbagai aspek, seperti realitas, fakta, kualitas dan kuantitas, dan pemecahan masalah (problem solving skills) dan proses mengintegrasikan intelijen ini ke dalam diri sendiri baik secara pribadi maupun secara professional.

  8. Adaptasi : Kemampuan seseorang untuk mengerti akan pesatnya peningkatan ilmu pengetahuan, dan semakin kompleksnya IPTEK. Manusia dituntut untuk menjadi lifelong learner (siswa seumur hidup) Dan pengetahuan ini digunakan untuk kepentingan umat manusia. Catatan : siswa seumur hidup bukan berarti mahasiswa abadi yang kagak lulus lulus :P)
Nah.... mikir deh loe ini malem :P hueheuheuhe.... Apakah elo udah menerapkan akal sehat dan berusaha menjadi manusia pintar ?? Ato masih mimpi dalam dunia khayalan ??

~Salam retarders~

Monday, October 16, 2006

Balada temen gue....

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Vincent Valentine - never look soo good before...

Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cerberus...
In stores now!!! for PS2
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Balada temen gw .... mantan temen deh...
Katanya udah dewasa, tapi masih bales-balesan kayak anak kecil...
Blog kamu lagi... blog kamu lagi
Cari sensasi....
Cari pendukung....

Kan udah gw bilang, kalo salah gw minta maap...
Soal bicara, gw udah gak mau sama loe...
Tentang "why" ya loe tau sendiri lah...
Mulut dikaw kayak ember bocor...
Segala yang termasuk kategori pribadi dipajang sama loe...
Satu RT satu RW, semuanya tau isi perut loe....

Bener kata si "J" emang gak ada yang mau sama loe...
kata si "S" malah gw dibilang "gengsi donk" hang out sama elo...
Kata si "E": "Gak ada yang lebih mendingan, bro???"
Tapi waktu itu gw masih temen loe, gw masih chatting ama loe...
Gw masih anterin loe pulang subuh2...
Komputer loe aja masih gw benerin...
Lagu gw donlotin, movie semua gw kasih buat loe...

Perkara kompie loe, msn loe, salah sendiri donk kalo loe save pass di laptop orang...
GW MANA TAU???
(Malah menurut gw, seharusnya tuch temen loe tau diri, kalo die respect loe, gak akan account loe dimasukin, terus nyamar jadi loe...)

Gak omong gak apa, loe hajar guwe di blog elo...
O shit... o shit.... o shit...
Basi loe ah!!!
Gak lama kemudian... masih aja gw jadi headline di blog loe...
Gara gara gak mo omong sama elo...
Orang udah gak mau urusan ... sama barisan patah hati kayak loe...
Masih aja loe nyolot, mau lu dari gw apa sich???

Dari si "R" sampe si "I" loe pacarin
Dari si "R" sampe si "I" putus ama loe...
Kalo emang you've got something to offer, gak akan loe dipermainkan...
This is a fact by the way (not fiction)....
The problem is ... you've never made it to second base...

Siapa sih temen-loe si "SB" ? yang ngasih racun ke elo ?
Suruh tuh orang diem, jangan sirik ama gw...
Pertama kali ketemu udah omongin guwe
Kedua kali ketemu udah larang loe ketemu gw...
Masyaa Allah... emang siapa si "SB"???? Babeh loe ??
Besides ... I'm not sexually attracted to you girl...

This is a story about a girl, a boy and a broken heart...
Break break break ... thats all you can come up with...
Hurt hurt hurt ... thats all you can feel...
The world does not revolve around you...
And for cryin out loud, stop talking shit bout ppl!!!
(PPL that CARES for you!)

Girl please, just leave me alone k?
Wanna be a nurse, whatever, porn star, I couldn't care less...
And tell that piece of shit asshole to suck ma' ballz!!
Cuz I'm real... and I'm represent....
You church people bullshit, go to church just for show...
Your faith is more less looks like your turd...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Living your life in superstitious bullshit...

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Paling bete kalau orang kirain bisa kibulin ato kadalin gw - anggap gw anak kecil.


Jadi ceritanya ini orang telp gw 3 hari yg lalu buat schedule meeting ama gw, sekertarisnya telp gw pas jam makan siang. Pas gw balik (meeting di schedule jam 1) gw dapet pesen di mailbox gw yang isinya meeting di cancel dan minta direschedule. 20 menit sebelum meeting ?????

Gw gak telp balik, sorenya tuh sekertaris telp gw balik untuk nanya waktu reschedule, pake bermanis manis bilang kalo si Vasken ini sakit dan gak bisa masuk hari ini (Gw bilang gw gak pernah dapet messagenya doi). Sekertaris ini bohong ke gw bilang kalo doi telp jam 12 siang - gak seperti 12:40 yang tertera di message slip gw..... Langsung aja gw jawab:

"Rescheduling 20 minutes before the meeting is totally pushing it and it is very unprofessional. I've got other things to do, so give me a call sometime next week to reschedule and then we will see when we can meet!"

Akhirnya si penelpon meminta maaf sama gw, bayangin aje ... kalo sakit seharusnya tau donk dari pagi, kasih gw tau mao cancel appointment? Jangan tunggu 20 menit sebelumnya, pake bohong lagi soal waktu .... dasar kadal mo ngadalin buaya.... gimana jadinya ??
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Pernah denger cerita serem... ato angker ??? Mungkin pas kecil sering diceritain sama nyokap/ bokap tentang mahkluk halus model jin, setan, genderuwo. kuntilanak, jailangkung, nchatz ama jinsky. Akhirnya sampe gede pun kita bawa itu yang namanya superstitious story turun temurun dari generasi sebelum kita.

Superstitious/ tahayul: sebutan buat konsep yang mengkaitkan dunia mistik dan alam halus yang dibuat-buat untuk menakuti anak kecil -- biasanya tujuan-nya biar si anak kecil nurut dan nggak berbuat bandel. Misalnya : jangan suka kencing sembarangan ato kencingin batu karena suka ada jin penunggunya, akibatnya ada beberapa cerita dimana orang orang yang kencing juga kerap kali mengalami penyakit kutukan dari si penunggu yang kesel karena dikencingin.

Mungkin cerita cerita tahayul juga bisa bertahan sebab negeri kita dan asal usul kita bisa disebut dari kategori "timur." Semuanya serba mistik dan tahayul. Tapi seumur-umur gw dari kecil sampe hari gini, belum pernah mengalami, ketemu, salaman ama yang namanya mahkluk halus model jin, setan, genderuwo. kuntilanak, jailangkung, kecuali nchatz ama jinsky (jin chatting.) Memang sih gw lahir dan gede di timur, tapi mendapat edukasi di negara luar membuat gw lebih berpikir menggunakan akal sehat.

Nah, dulu dulu gw paling suka baca cerita dari koran PosKota, koran nakal yang paling banyak gosip seksnya, karikatur jenaka model Ali Oncom dan Kadir-Doyok, ama sesekali dibumbui cerita mistik. Pokoknya seru deh jaman dulu baca gituan.

Kemaren ini baru aja gw iseng mampir di websitenya PosKota. Kontan aja gw kangen dan iseng kepengen baca-baca ingat-ingat nostalgia lama. Akhirnay gw ketemu satu artikel tentang juru kunci gunung merapi.


Damn ... for a 78 yrs old ... this guy got nothing else to do in his sparetime.

Gile.... maksudnya dianggap "banyak tahu" soal gunung tuh dengan background apa? apa si mbah ini punya pendidikan geologi? Apa asal jeplak doank?


Ini lage wartawan pada kurang kerjaan, yang paling tahu tentang kapan meletus nya gunung ya dari BMG alias Badan Meteorologi dan Geofisika, si mbah mana tahu kapan gunung bakal meletus????


Dude... more like they banned you from the keraton to stay in the foothill of a mountain, what kind of punishment is that?? Ini sih dibuang ama orang Keraton - lolz


Gila ... bukti kalau akal sehat udah dipengaruhi ama hal hal mistik dan tahayul kayak gini, dimana mana orang kalo ada gunung meletus gak perduli Pak De-mu ato kaisar Tiongkok, bakalan lari tunggang langgang nyelametin diri, apalagi juru kunci ??? Hebat amat ini orang ???


Wuanjrit ... yg bener ni ... gunung merapi dikasih kambing ? Sementara rakyat kelaparan gak bisa makan ? Bukti lagi kalau mistik tahayul membuat orang berpikir tanpa akal sehat... akhirnya rakyat tambah kelaperan, sementara gunung merapi kagak tambah kenyang...


Ini lagi sok tau.... lolz ... kalo gak punya degree di Geology science mah ... jangan asal omong...


This one cracks me up..... Soal kapannya juga saya tak bisa menentukan ===> karena mbah kagak tau.... (Itu seharusnya jawaban simple dan jujur)

Damn.... hare gini masih aja percaya berita ginian.... dasr Indo.... :P








Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Check out my Kantong Ajaib!!!

Berhubung kantong ajaib gw (alias tas) di bahas sama anggora disini. Gw jadi ingin menjelaskan kalau kantong ajaib gw tuch isinya gak cuma ipod doanks :P

Inget Doraemon kan ??? Yang punya kantong ajaib - kantongnya kecil banyak isinya ??? Kalo gw kebalikannya - kantong gede, sedikit isinya.


Evrybody was wonderin what's inside that shitty pocket anyway....

Tapi gw gak pelit kayak Doraemon ..... isi kantong gw bakalan gw perlihatkan!!!!
Berikut ini adalah special entry dari retarders.... What is inside my "kantong ajaib..." :P

Oke ... ini isi kantong gw pas gw keluarin.... (entah kapan terakhir kali gw bersihin tas gw)

Tampak atas - barang barang isi gw keluarin di tengah, sisi kiri ama sisi kanan..


Sisi kanan.....

  • 1. Kartu Fitness Ballys yang bisa dipake buat buka pintu ala MacGyver.
  • 2. Tang kepala cucut, buat cabut paku, baut, staples, ato gigi kalau diperlukan.
  • 3. Dua biji cartridge GameBoy Advance - Donkey Kong Country ama Mario Bros (tanpa ada GameBoy-nya)
  • 4. Kunci kantor gw yang isinya mulai dari kunci pintu kantor sampe kunci lemari, sampe kuncil library dan kunci aula (auditorium).
  • 5. Kunci serep mobil gw yg dimasukin dalem kotak magnet.
  • 6. Empat biji batere alkaline ukuran aaa (yang entah dipake buat apaan)
  • 7. Memory card game shark - buat cheat game playstation 2
  • 8. Gembok kombinasi, buat gembok sana sini - bisa buat gembok locker, sepeda, ato gembokin kolor (takut ilang)
  • 9. Suntan lotion (gw paling takut jadi ireng alias item)
  • 10. Duit koin 15 cents
  • 11. Spidol ungu sama pensil - buat corat coret kagak jelas.

Sisi kiri....

  • 12. Kunci gembok sepeda gw yg lama sama kunci rantai nye.
  • 14. Headphone buat ipod sama kabel data transfer ipod
  • 15. iPod ===> sarana terlengkap buat main (buang waktu) ama pindahin data, bisa nonton parno, bisa denger musik, bisa baca ebooks .... pokoke lengkap
  • 16. Disket kosong ===> sapa tau aja perlu pindahin data dari kompie tua.
  • 17. Kabel Charger hape nokia n-70 gw.

Bagian atas tengah...

  • 18. Kabel IDE buat harddrive, sapa tau aja ada hdd drive gratisan....
  • 19. Charger Hape Nokia standar.
  • 20. Piso lipet serbaguna MacGyver. (bisa buat nodong juga)


Satu majalah buat dibaca ===> playboy nya belum tembus oi....


Hape kesayangan gw... warisan babeh ... Nokia 7250i


Paling akhir ... satu pack kabel nilon buat iket iketan, paling banyak gunanya nih!! (apalagi buat iket mulut boz yang bawel...)

Sapa bilang isinya iPod doanks ? hueheuheueh....... (Yang paling berharga iPod doank ember....)

Monday, October 09, 2006

How unique Indonesians are....

Pernah mikir, kalau Indonesians itu unik seunik-uniknya. Apalagi buat indos yang udah pada stay di-luaran negeri, entah kuliah entah kerja... Selalu aja ada kebiasaan-kebiasaan kocak yang dilakukan orang indo, mulai dari membuka mata, sampe saatnya ngorok di malem hari....

Kebetulan gw nemu website disini yang punya list panjang ttg how hilarious Indonesians are, gw cuma ikutan aja nambahin beberapa. Hasilnya ? Liat sendiri ... are you Indonesian ??

You might be Indonesian if:

-Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice for a day.
-You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.
-You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.
-You talk during a movie.
-You use a dipper instead of toilet paper in the bathroom.
-You eat fried rice in the morning.
-You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi's.
-You don't think Jim Carrey is funny.
-You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
-You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.
-You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
-Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you.
-You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyway, because you are homesick.
-You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempeh.
-You are "Dreaming of a WARM Christmas".
-You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards.
-Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal.
-You think Super Mie is a staple food.
-You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine or pay phone.
-You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.
-You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.
-When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.
-You do your shopping in Singapore.
-Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are.
-You have ever legally bought pirated software or VCDs.
-You have ever legally produced pirated software or VCDs, complete with cover design.
-Yo cousinzz legaly produced pirated software of VCDs, heck he got a complete store.
-Yo hang out place preferably mang-du and glodokz.
-You think that Chucke Cheese is an imitation of Matahari's Timezone.
-You have ever been forced to memorize UUD'45.
-You have ever fake sakit kepala, pusing, or belum makan as reasons to skip upacara bendera.
-You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera.
-You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.
-You know exactly how many islands Indonesia has.
-You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.
-You realized that money is everything before you were six.
-You paid street hookers to de-virginize you before you reach the age of 20.
-The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word "Jakarta" is "macet".
-Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.
-Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.
-You don't mind people being late.
-You think standing in line is a waste of time.
-You have used a mosquito repellent that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.
-You use the terms "Ni yee", "cai-lah" and "Ih, jijay" on daily basis.
-You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.
-You complain that movies in America don't have sub-titles.
-You refer agama as second KTP.
-You go to mesjid in a house, you go to church in a house, you go to pura in a house, and you go to Buddhist temple in a house. (You can practically count by fingers the days you went to an original rumah ibadah as they were intended to be)
-Puji Tuhan is your answer to any good news.
-Ya Tuhan is your answer to any bad news.
-Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.
-You have ever consulted a dukun.
-You have a relative "orang pintar" who can cure terminally ill people with "pijat" method or "disembur air kumur."
-Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
-Your teacher rides vespa in his lifetime.
-You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.
-You like the smell of terasi.
-You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.
-You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks and badminton birdies.
-You have a 16' satellite dish hidden in your back yard.
-You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.
-You miss your maid on laundry day.
-Your clothing has brand names printed on it that are visible from 50' away.
-You attend weddings only until you are done eating.
-You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.
-You go to McDonald's to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins.
-You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries' "Zombie".
-You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
-Your phone of choice is either Nokia or Sony Ericsson, all else are junks.
-Your car of choice is either Bi Em or Mercy, all else are junks. (You can live with Honda though, they are tough as hell, never broke and requires little maintenance)
-You can text message with one hand while driving.
-You make major decisions based on gengsi.
-You take advantage of Wal-Mart's 30-day money-back guarantee to "borrow" home appliances.
-Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar.
-Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide utensils from the all-you-can-eat bar.
-You have paid more then $1,000 to get your name on your license plate.
-You think "NGENTOT" is a nice license plate you can personalize and drive around with.
-You don't budge when there's local artist performing nextdoor, but you buy ticket pp to another state just to see Titik Puspa performs in L.A.
-You carry your hand phone always, even to a 'no service' area.
-You think bribery as a 'tip in advance'.
-You think of the road as a place to park.
-You fly Garuda just to get to know the stewardesses.
-You send your kids to US & Australia just so they can go to school.
-You go to a park and drink 'teh botol'.
-You travel to L.A or Sydney from Jakarta more than 3 times a year.
-You mix soccer and boxing at the same time.
-You consume more cloves in your cigarettes than in your food..
-Your blood contains more nicotine per mm/hg than any other creature in the universe.
-You have more credit cards than your wallet can hold.
-You have a car with 20' wheel.
-You work for the government to get rich quick.
-Your friends in the US & Australia refer to you as their 'Indonesian connection.'
-You have been to a motel that can 'hide' your car.
-You give guests a roll of toilet paper or a box of facial tissues to wipe their hands after eating.
-You spend more than 6 hours a day to sit in front of computer updating your friendster and watching youtube.
-Your computer holds more than 2000 mp3 songs, none of them are genuine purchase.
-You try to be chinese, looks like chinese, Cut your hair like Tao Ming Ming, wears chinese fashion, and occasionally speak chinese, but ironically you don't understand chinese.
-Alhambra and Monterey Park are like chicks infested areas for you single guys.
-Alhambra and Monterey Park are like rich-dudes infested areas for you single gals.
-You hope when you borrow something, the owner of the item will soon forget and the item borrowed will eventually becomes rightfully yours.
-You believe in horror story, pohon angker, sungai angker, rumah angker, but not once in your life you know what ghosts looks like.
-Si Buta and Wiro Sableng are your all time childhood heroes.
-F4 for you means more than life itself.
-You think RayKo and Jinzky are such cool names, while nchatz comes in second....
-You think retarders.blogspot.com is racist but you can't get enough of it.

Friday, October 06, 2006

X Y Shit .......

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Belom juga ditinggal berapa bulan channel #musicindo di dal-net. Pas channel sama nick founder nge-drop, buruan deh di regist ama xyz.... hheuheuhuaha... dasar orang Indo, udah rakus, serakah sampe-sampe channel bekas orang pun harus dipake.... ck ck ck.

Ironisnya kayak pake popok yang udah diberakin-- ck ck ck ato tissue yang udah di-upil-in.
Gw aja yang punya gak pernah denger kabar ijin kek, permisi kek.. heuhuahuheuha dasar emang orang Indo model gini yang kayak teroris semua, main dudukin main ambil....

sapa o93b, sapa geForce... kenal juga kagak, dasar loser semuah :P
Sejak kapan MusicIndo setaraf ama xyz ???
Sejak kapan MusicIndo radionya di link ama xyz ???

.... heuehuehuehuha...


Makan tuh iRC heuheuheuhe.....

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Thursday, October 05, 2006

Chinese should learn to speak English...



Buat yg berminat ama "start button renamer", lumayan keren loh!! Kebenaran dapet pas lagi browsing, tinggal klik aja programnya terus ketik nama baru buat start menu elo....
Buat yg berminat bisa diklik disini.

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Selanjutnya gw mo cerita tentang pengalaman makan gw kemaren di:

B.B.Q Unlimited
12980 Sherman Way, North Hollywood, CA 91605
Category: Restaurants

Oke ... gw tau deh yang namanya kota Los Angeles itu bisa dibilang kota imigran, semua orang dari suka bangsa ama bahasa numpuQ disitu (Salah satu alasan kenapa LA penuh ama orang orang yang kagak bisa nyetir juga)

Salah satu suku bangsa yang bisa gw pikir cukup menarik adalah suku bangsa dari mainland China. Mereka kerja keras banting tulang siang malem, terkadang cuma kerja di resto kecil dapet duit pas-pasan juga. Terkadang orang orang mainland China ini suka "di bully" sama di-stereotype orang barat, karena aksen (gaya bicara) yang kocak dan kurang bisa dimengerti.

Faif Dalla ... Faif Dalla (Five Dollars) ==> kata penjual CD bajakan keturunan Chinese di sekitar bilangan Chinatown.

Nah ... kemaren malem gw ama anggora berkesempatan makan bareng ama si babeh rufi3 dan kencannya si babeh. Ceritanya gw pesen makanan 3 porsi, tapi berhubung masih milih milih, gw pesen 2 porsi duluan (Seafood Chow Fun, ama Mabo Tofu)


Sisanya yang satu porsi, gw pesen langsung ama pelayan Chinese yg ada disitu, si pelayan bilang "oke oke Pok Chop haaa???" (OK.... OK Pork Chop, yes???) Gw pun balik duduk tungguin makanan dateng.

Setelah 2 pesenan gw dateng, kita mulai makan (kelaparan) akhirnya setelah kita hampir selesai makan, itu pesenan porsi ke-3 gak pernah dateng... Kontan aja napsu makan gw jadi ilang.

Langsung gw konfront itu pelayan cewek.... gw bilang kalo pesenan gw blom dateng-dateng. Ehhhh si cewek malah ngangguk ngangguk bilang dia mo ambil order gw sekarang...

Kontan gw tambah bete, seakan-akan gw omong bahasa Inggris sambil komplen, dikiranya malah pesen lagi (permintaan maap pun kagak ada)

Akhirnya tiba saat bayar bill, ada pelayan cowok yang dateng terus gw kasih kartu gw untuk bayar pake visa (karena gw gak ada cash) Malah kartu gw dibalikin sambil doi bilang "Solly, minimum oldel twunty faif dalla..."

Langsung deh gw ngamuk-ngamuk....

Gw bilang "dude, your place sucks... I am hungry, me and my friends are hungry... You didn't even take my orders right, and now you tell me I can't pay without my card????"

Si China cuma bisa ngangguk-ngangguk belagak pilon, entah kagak ngarti ato cuek sama gw. Sampe sampe pemilik resto dateng, mereka malah omong bahasa dewa di depan gw. Tambah bete gw, selera makan gw udah ilang....

Meja gw tinggalin tanpa tip..... forget you man...!

Gw cuma denger "Solly...solly" (Sorry ... sorry)

In the end gw mikir.... kalau seandainya gw sebagai imigran udah bekerja keras untuk bisa makan di resto dan bisa bayar, seengaknya mereka juga harus bisa at least berusaha untuk mengerti apa yang gw keluarin dari mulut gw.... They should learn how to speak proper and basic english.

Dasar imigran.... kalo soal duit aja tau .....

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

There are somethings better left unsaid...

There are things better left unsaid
Cuz, those things when it happened, cannot be undone....
All the talk about love, and caring and such
And the sentence "You should think twice..."

Damn, you should know I hated it when you said that...
You should know, you should value me just like that
Accept me and just be friends, like we always do
Friends accept, friends just says "yes" no matter who

There are words left, "Yes I'm not perfect..."
Therefore I shared my opinions and feelings with you...
Therefore I shared my laughs with you
But you shared it back with people I don't know

I though you would understand, I tought you cared.
I though we were friends, and I though I protected you
Cared for you when u needed me.
I never judge you...

My words are like double edged knife
I know that, sometimes my friends turn their back faster,
Than my enemies turned to become my friends
My actions, are well rather "retarded"

But a friend should know
a friend should just laid low...
a friend should accept things that I throw.

We used to be together like that (Anna ni ishodaattanoni)
Now it feels like you're better than me.
Taller, higher and simply hate me.
Now you judge me.....

We were friends I remembered that
but just don't say a word....
we are done, divided
It turns out there are much hatred...

Between us, I am lost

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Tahu gak knp gw bete ??? sebab kebanyakan orang Indo termasuk temen-temen gw (yang walaupun udah bertahun-tahun kuliah ato skul diluar) masih aja retain their stubborn behavior.
Kebanyakan malah masih percaya ama yang namanya superstitious, terus gak pernah memekai yang namanya common sense. Yang lebih parah lagi yang ikut-ikutan barisan patah hati sama jadi "victim" (Semuanya tentang hidup selalu gw yg jadi victim, selalu gw yg di take advantage, dan selalu gw yg memberi)

These are some of the most interesting characteristics of Indos around here....

Menurut gw yah, apalagi yang udah kuliah disini ato menetap disini, yang namanya hidup itu perjuangan, gak ada yang semuanya serba enak dan serba dikasih. Kalo elo makan sama kuliah aja masih dibiayain sama or-tu loe jangan sesekali merasa kalo loe tuh orang paling bijak sedunia.

Bisa simpen secret lah, sama yang namanya temen, jangan dari satu mulut pindah lagi ke mulut laen... besoknya orang orang satu county tau semua soal semua isi perut loe ato isi perut temen-loe.

Menurut gw juga (berlaku sama semua orang), jadi orang harus jujur, jangan bermuka 2 dan bermanis-manis. Akhirnya loe kejepit di posisi yang sulit karena loe gak bisa nyenengin semua temen loe.

Menurut gw, yang namanya temen itu kalo bisa nya cuma nge-leech doank tanpa kasih feedback buat elo (baik materi maupun rohani) sama juga boong, mending jangan berteman ama orang gituan.

Menurut gw, gereja ato vihara seharusnya jangan dijadiin saran buat jualan makanan Indo, cari jodoh, apalagi buat alasan tertentu, kualat luh ama yang namanya Tuhan., apalagi yang bikin gereja ato vihara jadi-jadian (rumah ya buat rumah, bukan buat gereja ato vihara) -- Cuma orang Indo yang merubah rumah jadi tempat ibadah.

Menurut gw yang namanya barisan patah hati udah penuh, semua orang juga pernah ngalamin, entah sakit diboongin, entah ditipu, entah diputusin kekasih.... Get use to it, life is what you make out of yourself. -no regret-

Lu omong semau gue, kritik juga seenak jidat, tapi liat dolo donk yang di kritik sapa? Orang yang bantu elo, anter elo, kasih makan elo, sampe upgrade komputer loe-- loe kritikin juga, itu namanya gak tau diri.

Ikutan temen-temen, kayak domba. Temen bilang ini loe ikut, temen bilang itu loe ikut.... ya sama juga bohong. Temen bilang loe jangan hang out sama doi, jadi loe stop hang out sama gw.. damn heuheuhauha... rasanya enyak-babeh gw pun gak senarsis itu kayak temen-temen loe. Kalau emang loe berpendirian, keputusan loe mutlak dari diri sendiri (gak didahului dengan "Kata temen guwe.....")

Lu bilang barang temen loe bagus, terus loe bilang lagi ama temen lain kalo barang temen-loe itu "shitty." Kalo buat gw ..temen macem gituh bukan temen, tapi tukang adu domba. Dan gw gak rugi kalau gak kenal ama orang kayak gitu, emang orang Indo student disini penghasilannya brp milyar sih sebulan? Halaah ... masih juga di biayain mami papi - Intinya - gw gak rugi gak ditemenin or dibayarin makan ama loe -

Nah sekarang balik ke elo, elo merasa rugi gak ?

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Craving HP baru....

Lagi mikir dan liat liat.... kepengen cari pengganti HP gw yg bermerk Nokia seri N-70. Kebeneran aja kontrak gw ama t-mobile udah mo abis.... kira kira awal tahun depan lah.


HP gw skrg ... nokia N70 yg dilengkapi ama bluetooth, music player en 2 megapixel digital camera. Cuma satu problemnya .... gambar oke tapi kecepatan shutter nya (ambil gambar) super lelet.....

Jadi rencana gw .... kira kira naksir phone yg ini.


Nokia N80, slider phone lengkap ama bluetooth, music player dan 3.2 megapixel digital kamera.... cuma masalahnya, pengambilan gambar udah lebih cepet dari N70, apa sama aja???



Sony Ericsson K790a. (Bukan slider phone) dilengkapi ama 3.2 megapixel kamera digital, bluetooth dan media player. (Sony Ericsson terkenal lebih bagus gambarnya dibandingin ama Nokia) Kali ini di lengkapi ama kamera Sony Cybershot.


Gak ada yang special sih ama Nokia 8800, malahan kapasitas digital kameranya cuma 1.3 megapixel, cuma sesekali aja gw kepengen cobain HP elegant kayak apa sih rasanya. (Juga dilengkapi ama bluetooth dan media player)

Jadi gimana donks..... ada saran ????
p.s : not "retarded" suggestion this time (-.-)!