How bad is the economy?

Got this of CL a while back, credits to the original author...

How bad is the economy? The economy is so bad that:

• I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  
  
• African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials.
  
  
• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
  
  
• B.P. laid off 25 Congressmen.
  
  
• A stripper was injured when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  
  
• I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
  
  
• I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
  
  
• If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  
  
• Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
  
  
• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
  
  
• My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her.
  
  
• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  
  
• Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
  
  
• A picture is now only worth 200 words.
  
  
• They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street".
  
  
• The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
  

And finally

• I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc that I called the Suicide Hotline. It rang into a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!